Luke 5-6

5Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets."
6When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. 7So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.
8When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!"
Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." 11So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

How can I begin to count the number of times I possess the same mentality as Simon Peter shows in this passage? Often, I'm just too tired, too expectant, too unable to take that leap of faith that Jesus assures me in scripture. In my prayers, it translates to, "God, I've just prayed about x thing for so long, I really don't think you can do anything about it, I don't know why you're not doing anything about it...etc." But how many times does God come out of the blue, it seems, and wows me and my peanut-sized brain by His faithfulness and love? Countlessly!

The notion of faith that translates into a human-contained realm (Simon Peter) and the approach of faith that translates into the divine realm (Jesus/God) are concepts that consistently amaze me. What I can consider miraculous, what I expect to be miraculous, is so infinitely insignificant to God's promise and walk of faith with me. And it's at those moments that I turn to God and say "go away from me, I've doubted yet again, sinned yet again, taken the easy/cheap way out, Lord, and it's embarrassing!"

I was surprised by Jesus' response here. "Don't be afraid", he says. Fear! That little word will always keep me from completely diving into a complete trust in the Lord. Why is it so hard to have faith, why is it so easy to have fear when the God we have is basically...the most powerful, all-knowing, all-moving entity in our universe and beyond? The weakness of the human mind and spirit will never cease to surprise me and frustrate me, as I wallow in my own fear and sinfulness.

What else can I say, but trust in the Lord always, and our lives will be good in Him.