John 20-21
24 Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, [3] was not with them when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe."

Many times in my life I've felt like Thomas...doubting Thomas. I've questioned my faith and challenged God when bad things happened. Like Thomas I demanded that I be shown prove that the future will not be so gloomy or hold such uncertainty. Then I would feel small and guilty because we are taught this is not the way to communicate with God. I would wish that I return to childhood belief, the true and innocent trust and belief given to God.

29 Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

This verse seems to affirm that I should believe as a child might. Jesus to me seems to rebuke Thomas for believing because he has been shown proof. Yet, I also feel that to question is to grow. To understand the why is better for my faith and understanding of God than blind obedience. I hope and pray that I can successfully combine these two things and keep at it.